Have you ever pretended to be an extrovert?
I have. More times than I can count.
For a long time, I didn’t even realize I was faking. I was just trying to be what I thought I “should” be. More talkative, more outgoing, the life of the party. Someone who could remember jokes and make people laugh.
Because everywhere I looked, extroverts were succeeding. In classrooms, at getting raises, promotions, even more dates! They were definitely not the most qualified. They were the people who made sure they got noticed. It seemed clear to me that the way to succeed was to be an outgoing extrovert. And I thought I was a pretty good actor.
So for years, I pretended to be one and it left me exhausted. I did it for so long, I started to forget who I was and what made me happy.
Have you ever pretended to be someone you’re not?
Being a total fake really wears on you. I felt really disconnected to who I was which was pretty scary. Do you think the only way to get ahead is to pretend you are an extrovert?
If so, I am guessing you are in one of two groups:
1-You believe you need to behave like an extrovert to succeed but that is too painful for you. So you just don’t promote yourself.
2-You behave like an extrovert when needed and hope you can keep it up.
I’m so sorry to tell you this but neither of those is a good solution.
No one is that good of an actor And if you continue to follow either one of those paths, its going to be really hard to make a sustainable change in your life or business. I don’t know your situation and I won’t tell you there is one magical solution because everyone is different.
But I can tell you what worked for me. Once I slowed down and did some work on myself, I realized I was an introvert.
But I had to do more than realize it, I had to accept and embrace it.
It was like coming home.
A huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.
It made everything easier.
And looking back, it seems crazy that I put so much effort into doing things that just exhausted me even further.
I had figured out how adapt to things in my own way.
But I had to retrain myself.
Actually, de-program myself.
The biggest reward was that I was able to see my life more clearly And to make some big career changes that supported me and my natural temperament. So I created a job I loved and enjoyed! I no longer felt like a fake!
I had more energy for myself and my family And I began the process of accepting myself.